Loneliness is causing our physical and mental health to suffer

Loneliness is causing our physical and mental health to suffer | DW News

//Summary - Level-C2//

The text explores the profound crisis of loneliness exacerbated by cultural shifts emphasizing material success over emotional connections, starting notably in the 1980s with the rise of hardcore capitalism in the United States. It critiques the undervaluing of soft skills and emotional intimacy in favour of hard skills and financial achievement, arguing this misalignment contributes to widespread feelings of isolation. The discussion extends to the impact of gender norms on social bonding, particularly the harmful effects of prioritizing stereotypical masculinity over more emotionally expressive behaviours. Technological solutions, like AI, are considered not panaceas but potential tools for fostering genuine connection if used to enhance rather than replace human interaction.

//Summarize//

The film "Her" is a science fiction story about a lonely man who falls in love with an operating system. It was released in 2013.
However, recently, an AI chatbot has emerged using ChatGPT that can be valuable for people suffering from loneliness.
Loneliness, along with smoking and alcoholism, poses deadly health risks.

Dr Naomi Way has been researching loneliness in young people for 30 years.
We do not live in harmony with nature in the city.
Young people live in a culture where making money is more valuable than having close friendships. Income inequality has widened since the 1980s. Facebook has made it worse since 2000.

We have both soft and hard sides.
However, we only value his masculine side, the Hard side.
We do studies in China. Girls are now more likely to identify with the need to man up than boys at this point.

Because they see that if you so-called man up, you get access to more power, so girls and women are smart. They've figured out that if you deny half of your humanity.

So, the point is that it's rooted in masculinity.
Reversing our culture will take considerable effort.
Can AI technology be used to help people overcome loneliness?

Connecting with others is more important than getting millions of likes.
AI could help us with the interpersonal skills we need, such as curiosity about each other, the root of all good connections.

However, AI does not include natural curiosity, so our current methods will not work. The idea is that our curiosity is at the root of how we connect.

Yet we don't nurture that interpersonal curiosity, so AI and technology could enhance our human skills. Still, we've decided to use them to improve our self-obsession and our need to get affirmation rather than build connections.

1)
"Her" is a drama set in the not-too-distant future about a lonely man who falls in love with his operating system.
When the film was released in 2013, a relationship with a virtual assistant was still essentially science fiction.

But recent leaps in artificial intelligence are making new types of one-way emotional connections possible; some AI as a valuable and cost-effective therapy for the growing number of people suffering from feelings of loneliness and isolation chatbots designed to boost well-being are already out there.

2)
And the demand for AI-based mental health services is expected to boom well earlier in the coming years.
This month, the Surgeon General has shed light on the problems associated with loneliness by declaring it an American epidemic.

He said the growing isolation in society poses a health risk as deadly as smoking. In an 80-page report, Dr Vivek Morty said we now know that loneliness is a familiar feeling many people experience.

3)
It's like hunger or thirst. It's a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing.
Dr Naomi Way is a professor of developmental psychology at New York University. She has been researching the Dr Way.

Our modern world is more connected than ever, and yet more and more people are suffering from isolation and loneliness. How do you explain this contradiction?

4)
So basically, what you've got, everything I'm about to say, comes from doing research with adolescents and young adults for the last 35 years.

I'm a developmental psychologist studying social-emotional development, so I want to clarify that what I'm about to say is not my opinion. Still, it's actually what my findings have been showing for over three decades to be the root of our problem.

5)
What young people are teaching us through my longitudinal mixed-methods research that I've been doing for over three decades is that we live in a culture that is out of sync with nature, creating a crisis of connectedness, essentially loneliness.

And what I mean by that is it's a culture that doesn't value what young people say they want and need. Primarily, if not exclusively, close relationships and friendships where they can be emotionally intimate, where there's deep understanding, where they feel seen, heard, and listened to.

6)
They're hungry for those relationships, and we live in a culture that doesn't value that, that thinks academic achievement and making a lot of money is more valuable than close, intimate friendships or relationships.

So we value hard skills over soft skills, and yet human beings are, of course, both.

7)
Hard and soft in terms of we have our hard skills and our soft skills. We need our soft skills to connect. If we live in a culture that doesn't value those skills, we face a crisis: raising our children to go against their nature.

Then we wonder why we grow up so lonely. We are not using our natural capacity as humans to connect deeply with each other, and we don't even value that connection.

How did we get here? When did we stop listening to each other?

8)
To our urges and social needs, it's so fascinating to me, so basically, it was. A significant change happened in the 1980s, at least in the United States, so we lost community friendships and connections.

Primarily starting in the 1980s, late 1970s, so basically in the United States, that's when you began to see income inequality rise. You had Reaganomics enter the culture and started to see this money-oriented culture grow tremendously.

9)
Leaps and bounds, and just as we started to become more what I would call hardcore capitalists, we began to see the disconnection in our communities grow.

And then, of course, as everybody points out, starting around 2000 or 2004, when Facebook came into our conversations, social media exacerbated that.

Still, we have to get over saying that technology created this disconnection; it just exacerbated what was already happening because we can't live in a culture that doesn't value our values.

10)
Social and emotional natural capacities and needs, or we're going to kill ourselves, and we're going to destroy each other, and that's what's happening right now.

We're in a crisis now, and we're not seeing the hand in front of our faces, which is a cultural problem. It's not an individual problem. It's not just about fixing lonely people.

It's about changing our culture to value both sides of our humanity: our heart and our soft side.

11)
Our so-called hard sides, yeah, before we get to ways of possibly hopefully fixing that, I want to talk about your specific field of study.

Because you have focused your work on men and boys, adolescent boys, as I understand it, how much do stereotypes of what constitutes masculinity affect social bonds and the lack of them?

That's all part of when I say hard skills; I mean masculinity, so what stereotypical masculinity, because of course, when you talk to boys and men, I've been talking about.

12)
I've been interviewing boys and men since 1987, a long time. By the way, all over the world, my family, my ex-husband and my children are all from Berlin, so I know the world, including your world, and basically, men and boys are naturally just like girls and women and non-gender conforming people.

They have soft and hard sides, but we only value the masculine side. We cleanse and mock the so-called feminine side, which isn't, you know, we take these sides, and we give them a gender identity, a hard side; our gender and our desire for autonomy and our passion for connection are not gendered. They're human.

13)
The fact that we've gendered them is what's caused the problem, so norms of masculinity are a massive problem because norms of masculinity implicitly and explicitly value everything that we call so-called hard and demean everything that we call so-called soft.

We don't want to be soft. We like to be challenging, so I like to point out to your listeners that masculinity is not.

14)
It just affects boys and men. It concerns everybody because it's the rule of the day, so girls and women are now starting to feel more and more pressure to man up.

You get that across the world, we do studies in China. Girls are now more likely to identify with the need to man up than boys at this point.

Because they see that if you so-called man up, you get access to more power, so girls and women are smart. They've figured out that if you deny half of your humanity.

15)
So, the point is that it's rooted in masculinity, and I want to reiterate to your viewers and listeners that this is not some perspective I'm spewing; this is coming directly from the words of young men worldwide.

I know I will keep repeating this for over three decades, but I want to say that young people have been telling us this for a long time, and it's not a new thing, but let's look at how to do it.

16)
If it's in our culture, it will take a considerable effort to reverse this trend, won't it?
We started out talking about technologies to help people overcome loneliness and isolation.

But can AI ever be as good as the real thing, or is this a symptomatic treatment of a bigger problem?

No, I'm getting a much more hopeful response than you expected, so basically, it's how we use technology; so if we use technology, where do we use it?

17)
All we have is likes, and all you're looking for is how many likes you get that creates me media, not social media.

So it's about getting millions of likes versus connecting with others. If you made it more relational-based, it would be more about people connecting, influences connecting with their mums, their friends, etc., on tick-tock and modelling how to relate.

18)
Using relational skills on tick-tock, you could transform the world of technology AI.

AI also wants to add that AI can help people connect by fostering the basic relational skills we need, like curiosity and interpersonal curiosity about each other, which is at the root of all good connections.

19)
AI will never work in the way that they're using AI right now because it doesn't include the natural curiosity that AI doesn't have.

So it's the idea that our curiosity is at the root of how we connect, who are you, what can you do, what can I learn from you about how to live a life, all the kinds of things that humans naturally have, five-year-olds have in a wild capacity.

//Postscript//

For example, I liked the Daily News text in English that uses a human voice to read articles.
For some reason, that inspired me to want to study, and it made me want to be able to read and speak like that.
However, what about reading articles using AI narration?
I have no desire to learn or understand the article.

Also, ChatGPT allows you to have a voice conversation. I tried it several times but didn't feel like continuing the conversation.
Sometimes, as I continue the conversation, ChatGPT suddenly changes its opinion and agrees with what I say. When ChatGPT runs out of questions to ask, suddenly, it starts asking unrelated questions.

What's most troubling to us is that even though he answers difficult questions very smoothly, ChatGPT can as quickly tell a lie.
This is an attitude that becomes a massive hindrance to building trusting relationships.

So, for now, conversations with ChatGPT are great for summarising some information, preparing for an introductory discussion, or asking questions when you don't want to look up an encyclopedia.
At this point, building the relationships we value most is challenging, from simple conversations about life to sharing precious memories.

However, in the future, ChatGPT or other AIs may be able to speak well enough to form relationships like lovers, as in the film "Her". Or perhaps ChatGPT 4.0 or 5.0 have already reached that level.
Then, we wonder if real human conversation has reached the same level.
To not forget what is truly important in life, we must pass on the beautiful books, films, and art left behind by our ancestors to the next generation.

Loneliness is causing our physical and mental health to suffer | DW News

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XSwCHgcAY3w

Everyone is lonely at times. But chronic loneliness can make you sick. Earlier this month, the US surgeon general shone a light on the problems associated with loneliness by declaring it an American epidemic. He said the growing isolation in society poses a health risk as deadly as smoking. In an 80-page report, Doctor Vivek Murthy said: "We now know that loneliness is a common feeling many people experience. It's like hunger or thirst. Loneliness is as dangerous as smoking, a feeling the body sends us when something we need for survival is missing."

Film Her - 2013 - 8.0/10

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1798709/

"Her/The one and only girlfriend in the world" - A life story spun by AI and humans -

https://sst-online.jp/magazine/3640/

How We Became the Loneliest Generation [Documentary]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I19btmIBhx0

Add info)

How loneliness is killing us, according to a Harvard professor | Robert Waldinger

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxbYPk1MIyw

//Summary - Level-C2//

Robert Waldinger, a Harvard professor, highlights the silent scourge of loneliness, likened to the health risks of smoking half a pack of cigarettes daily. Drawing from research, he emphasizes the detrimental effects of loneliness on health and advocates for nurturing relationships to combat this epidemic. Waldinger offers practical strategies, such as reaching out, self-acceptance, practising gratitude, moderating social media use, giving to others, and fostering connections to mitigate loneliness. He underscores the importance of everyday interactions and the role of community in enhancing well-being, referencing the Okinawa tradition of Moai as an exemplar of sustained social support.

60% of people feel disconnected. Harvard professor Robert Waldinger addresses the science behind humanity's loneliness epidemic and suggests ways to solve it.

Loneliness is quietly spreading across our society. Robert Waldinger, professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, explores the roots of this growing epidemic.

He draws on research by experts like Julianne Holt-Lunstad, revealing the severe health impacts of loneliness, equating it to smoking half a pack of cigarettes daily. Stress, accelerated brain decline, and overall well-being suffer, but the remedy lies in our relationships—with friends, family, and even casual encounters.

Waldinger shares practical steps to combat loneliness, encouraging everyday connections with individuals like the person who delivers the mail or the cashier at the grocery store.

Here are six ways to combat loneliness.

1)
Number one is to reach out. This could include getting professional help or expressing feelings to friends or family.
You can start small; you can also find local groups, organizations, and services that can help you connect with others and reach out to a mental health professional, such as a therapist or counsellor.

They can provide guidance and support to address the underlying causes of loneliness.

2)
Number two is self-acceptance. This seems counterintuitive, but cultivating a connection with yourself is another solution. It's a practice that reminds us that we do have self-worth.

A 2022 study showed that self-reflection can reduce feelings of loneliness and contribute to finding meaning in life, so reflecting on who you are, practising self-compassion and writing down how you're feeling can be a good start.

3)
Number three is gratitude. So many things around us tell us that we're not enough. That's how many companies make their money. Advertising tells us that we're not rich or pretty enough or that we'll be happy if we buy this one more thing.

We can combat this by being grateful for what we do have the practice of gratitude. I know it sounds Tiring, but the simple practice of gratitude can do wonders.

A 2021 study showed that increased appreciation could reduce feelings of loneliness; a 2015, 201, and 2010 study all demonstrated the same thing: just for 5 minutes a day, think about what you must be grateful for.

At first, it may seem like there's nothing to be thankful for, but if you're not forced to fight in a war, have a roof over your head, are in reasonable physical health, and have food and water, that's better than some people, we should be grateful for that and much more, there's nothing wrong with acknowledging that where you are right now is hard, hard.

However, incorporating the practice of gratitude alongside other supports can significantly aid your journey. For example, studies show that appreciation can increase happiness, reduce depression and build resilience.

Grateful people often have lower blood pressure, less chronic pain, more energy and even longer lives. People who consciously express more gratitude report higher self-esteem than those who don't and are more likely to help others. Pro-social behaviour is also linked to greater happiness.

People who collect grateful thoughts before bed sleep better than those who don't. Why so many positive changes? Because gratitude rewires our brains, kick-starting the production of dopamine and serotonin-like antidepressants.

These feel-good neurotransmitters activate the brain's bliss centre, creating feelings of happiness and contentment that seem self-perpetuating. Research suggests that with regular practice, you'll train your prefrontal cortex to appreciate better and retain positive experiences and thoughts and deflect negative ones.

4)
When it comes to using social media, we need to utilize it in moderation. There is research that says a small amount of social media is beneficial.

Still, a large amount is detrimental 30 minutes a day is the advice from Dr Jeremy Noble, who cited a University of Pen study that cutting back on social media can significantly improve your well. Dr Noble also advises choosing social media platforms that help us develop authentic social connections.

5)
Number five, giving to others, shows us that we have something to offer the world.
Ironically, this can help us feel less lonely by volunteering in the local community or simply supporting a work colleague or neighbour in a small way, according to Vivic Murphy, who first declared the loneliness pandemic in 2017.

Quoting service is one of the most under-recognized antidotes to loneliness; it reaffirms that we have value to add to the world.

6)
And finally, number six, connection: loneliness is a state of stress that makes us focus inward rather than outward to others to keep ourselves safe; we often treat people and things with suspicion when we feel lonely; this can ruin self-esteem, we think we are unlovable, unappealing.

7)
There is an old Japanese tradition from Okinawa called Moai. It means a lifelong group of friends who meet weekly and discuss life, discuss problems and help each other.

Elders in Okinawa live extraordinarily better and longer lives than almost anywhere else in the world. It's common to find Moai groups who have been friends for over 90 years, which is why I have travelled to the Japanese archipelago of Okinawa, where there are more centenarians than anywhere else in the world for fore.

8)
I don't try to live as long as possible; it happens naturally because we all get together, laugh and cry together, and that's what's good, that's what we say, that's what it is, that's the way of life in Okinawa Keep in mind that these are general rules and some may find it harder to make connections than others because they are not neurotypical or because of other circumstances.

At the end of the day, there are many ways to combat loneliness, so the key is to recognize how you feel and find the best strategy for you, along with professional help. If you come across someone showing symptoms of loneliness, don't ignore them; reach out to people who may be lonely, talk to them if they need professional help, and point them in the right direction.

9)
It all comes down to how you can be of service to others; the gift of just being there and listening can sometimes go a long way; go in with an open mind, don't be quick to judge and try to practice understanding, once we listen to others they can be more open to listening to us Chronic loneliness is an unnatural state, a state we were not designed for, it leaves us empty and yearning for connection and understanding.

It's been building slowly since industrialization, accelerating in the 1960s and 70s before exploding in the 21st century; it crept in and snuck up on us, and only with the proliferation of smartphones, etc., has it become so severe that it can no longer be ignored, only now are we starting to see and care about the effects of loneliness before it gets out of hand, we need to address the situation.

10)
Of course, you can't alleviate everyone's loneliness, as everyone longs for different types and depths of connection. Still, as it is a public health issue on a global scale, both government sectors and private health organizations need to be more vigilant.

Tackling loneliness is not an impossible task, but it will take some work; it will require a genuine demonstration of care and compassion for oneself and others. As I said, this episode has been many months in the making, so I hope I have been able to shed some light on it.

I wish I could shed some light on the modern origins of loneliness, the causes and the solutions, Al. However, the chatter between strangers in many public spaces may have disappeared.

Hopefully, the discussion on our streets will one day return. So, what are your thoughts on this epidemic of loneliness? Have you been personally affected? What's your story? Do you know someone who is going through loneliness? Please share your experiences and insights in the comments section below.